Through the Shattered Mirror Erik's POV
by Angel de Musique
Summary: The Phantom's POV of the events that led to Christine's departure.
1. Chapter One: Erik's Lament

Chapter One- Erik's Lament

"_Masquerade…paper faces on parade. Masquerade…hide your face so the world…can never…find you"._

I sang quietly to myself as I heard Christine and her beloved Raoul in the distance.

"_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime, say the word and I will follow you…"_

As if my heart wasn't broken enough, now I had to listen to this? Oh, how I wanted to die and then their happy tune stopped. I continued to sing my solemn song,

"_Masquerade…"_ only to sense something I did not expect. It was her, my beloved Christine. No. This wasn't possible. How could she love a monster like me? She wouldn't return, not after all I had put her through. I had taken her to my land of darkness in the catacombs underneath the Opera House against her will. When Raoul had come to save her, I had tried to force her to choose me by threatening the life of her beloved and only ended up making her hate me. How could I have become so much of a monster and drive away the only one who had ever expressed emotions other than fear when they saw the abhorrence of my grotesque face? "That was it…" I said aloud to myself, "I am a monster and who could love a monster?" I knew I would never be anything more or less, and then I heard something I did not expect.

"You are not a monster dear Erik." A voice spoke from the shadows, a voice I knew all too well. _Christine? _I wondered. _No. It couldn't be…she is off with De Chagny, more than likely making wedding plans; she wouldn't come back for… _my thoughts stopped as I looked up toward the source of the voice. "Christine!" I said, her name accompanied by an embarrassing, high-pitched squeak, much like the noises that school-aged boys make when their voices are changing to that of a man. She smiled softly, giving a slight nod. "Yes…it is me." She answered, her voice ringing through my ears, sounding like nothing short of an angel to me.

"B-but…De Chagny! You two are to be mar…" I couldn't bring myself to say it. "Married?" she replied. I simply nodded as the smile that had been on my lips for the past few minutes quickly curled into a frown. I felt a few silent tears run down my cheeks as I looked toward the music box that had been my accompaniment, the happy little monkey sitting on top simply smiling back at me, looking so proud and cheery in his little Persian robes, knowing nothing of the real world and its cruelties. It had never endured what someone like me had. It had never been subject to public beatings for the sake of 'entertainment' at a fair nor had it been left for dead on a rainy night on the steps of a church. Nor would it ever experience true love… or the loss of it.

"Why the solemn look?" my lovely Christine asked. "You look as if someone has died" I shook my head, still looking at the monkey and its sickening demeanor.

"Not a person, but what I once thought to be happiness…and love." I stated, still not looking up at her. "Love? Who is your love? Should I be jealous?" _Jealous? _I thought. _Why would she be…no, could she have come back for me? Or had she simply forgotten something, perhaps the engagement ring that De Chagny had given her, the one I had taken. She couldn't possibly be back here for any reason other than…_ I suddenly felt her delicate hand brush ever so softly, dare I say almost lovingly, across my cheek. I felt a few more hot tears run their course down my cheeks as I looked up, meeting her eyes. Oh, those eyes. Those beautiful deep brown eyes that held the innocence of a child, yet the wisdom of a woman twice her age. "Christine…" I whispered, so as not to release another of my boyish squeaks. "Yes my love?" she answered. _My Love! Surely I must have been dreaming, never had she used that phrase while addressing me, not since De Chagny had confessed his love to her, I knew I had to be dreaming or even dead…that was it I was dead. Was this heaven? Could a creature like me ever truly reach heaven? _


	2. Chapter Two: Heaven

Chapter Two: Heaven

_What was heaven? _I thought, looking silently into her eyes. _This was heaven…or as close as I will ever get. Christine is my angel and therefore, my heaven. _A few more tears fell. _She had come back…but why? Why would she give up the chance for a life of luxury, a life in which she would never want, to be with me?_ "Why did you return?" I asked, her face twisting into a look of shock or, dare I say, a look of pure hurt. "How could you even ask me that? Do you not know?" she answered, obviously holding back tears. "You were so in love with De Chagny, it seemed too sudden for you to change your mind…" I felt my heart begin to break as I saw the look on her face grow even more heart broken than before. "I never loved him…we were friends since childhood, we were trying to rekindle our friendship, nothing more. If it looked like love to you, obviously you are blind!" she answered coldly, a few tears running down her cheeks as I looked toward the floor.

"I-I only meant…" I said, still looking toward the floor to hide my tears. I heard the fabric of her dress make a rustling sound against the stone floor of the cavern; I looked up slightly to see her shifting her weight impatiently. She said nothing, she only lifted an eyebrow, as if asking for me to finish. I looked back to the floor, remaining silent. "You only meant what?' she asked, after a few moments. "I meant…" I answered, thinking carefully about my reply. "…why did you give up someone who can give you anything and everything you could ever want or need? Someone who can give you the life you deserve…" I continued, looking up just in time to see her look to the floor. "What good is all of that…" she answered, looking from the floor as she finished, locking her glance with mine. "…without love? Say I went with Raoul, I married him and we spent a few happy years together, had children and all of the rest of the things that go with a marriage. I would spend the entire time thinking, wondering…even dreaming, about what I missed out on." She explained, a few delicate tears running down her cheeks. I stood and walked over to her, stopping when I was mere inches from her, so she was just out of my reach. _So close, but so faraway. _

"Yes, he can give me a big house and anything I could ever ask for, even love; but I cannot give him everything. He is simply a friend, I love him like a brother…I could never give him the love I have already promised to you, I would never forgive myself if I had left you…" she said though a few whimpers. "I just couldn't…" she fell to her knees softly, her face covered with her hands, crying softly. I kneeled before her quickly, taking her into my arms. "Shhh…none of that." I whispered, resting her head on my left shoulder, my hand running affectionately through her hair, soothing her. Her cries grew still, but then calmed as she felt my hand. She put her arms around my slowly, letting out a soft sigh, simply resting against me as I rocked her gently.

_Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you want me with you here, beside you…_

I sang softly, crying quietly.

_Anywhere you go, let me go too, Christine that's all I ask of…_

It was the song I had sung to her during my _Don Juan, Triumphant_ and once again I did not finish the song, but this time it wasn't because she ripped my mask off, it was because I heard something else. I gave a slight laugh as I looked down at her, seeing her breathing softly, her delicate breathes falling against my skin. "And they say music soothes the beast? I think it is the beast who soothes through music…" I said aloud to myself as I stood slowly, picking her up carefully, so as not to wake her up. I walked out of my room and into the room next door, the one I had fixed up for her long ago, back when she came to me for singing lessons. I laid her on her bed slowly, gently, pulling the covers over her small form. "Goodnight my love…" I whispered, as I walked to the door, stopping in the doorway to watch her sleep for a few moments. _"Christine, I love you…"_ I sung silently. I turned and walked into the main cavern of my home, I sat at the organ and began playing a slow, beautiful melody. It was the final number to _Don Juan_, the one we hadn't gotten to, Christine's final song.

"_Say you love me every waking moment…say the word and I will follow you…"_

I sang a few bars of the song quietly to myself and then slowly drifted off to sleep, still sitting at the organ.


End file.
